Chapter 46 - South Beach - Kestral Makes a Decision

AN: If you've it this far, you're almost done! The next few pieces tie up loose ends. Then this part is over and Sessions begins.

Rockwood - Carpe Diem Restaurant ~ early Monday morning


Dragging from a late night, too little sleep and too many thoughts, Kestral sat a table on the deck outside their restaurant. The stump of a chair was uncomfortable. She lowered her head onto the table. It wasn’t even their restaurant anymore since her brother was finalizing the sale. “Kes?” Colin said, standing there bright and alert. “Are you asleep?”

She sighed, lifted her head and looked at him. “No. Is it done?” Obviously pleased with himself, he smiled, “Not only done, but we got a little extra. Enough to set us up when we transfer out next week to State U, invest in another place. We got a good deal.”

So here it was. Again. Colin was driving, always, making sure they stayed on the road, but always the one at the wheel. He’d made the plans; made the transfer arrangements. It was better for him, she couldn’t argue with that. But it was not where she wanted to go. Looking up at him, Kes quietly but firmly said, “I don’t want to leave.”

Kestral walked away from him, shaking slightly, caffeine and distress and lack of sleep. Over her shoulder she heard Colin demand, “What do you mean? We discussed this!” “No we didn’t,” she shot back without looking at him.

His boots echoing on the deck, Colin followed her, demanding, “What’s going on? We did discuss it, Kes. It’s a much better situation for me. And you’ve never cared where you’re enrolled – you don’t even go to the classes here.”

She gazed off at nothing, tightening up, hugging herself. It had crept up so slowly. Like the dreams. “Are you going to stand there zoning out or are you going to answer me?” Colin was almost shouting now.

Kestral drew a light breath, faced him. “I’m not leaving. You can go. You can have the money – you know what to do with it and I don’t. But I’m not going with you. Not this time, Colin.”

She walked back through the restaurant, trying not to think about what she was going to do without him; she’d never been separated from her twin. Not through all those weird years when he was the only source of stability she had. Not this time though. “Kestral!” Colin was definitely shouting now. “Is this about Jason? Talk to me!”

She stopped on the deck outside the front door, waiting for him. God she needed something to eat and some sleep and some way to know she was doing the right thing. Yes it certainly was about Jason, but it wasn’t only about Jason.

Straightening her shoulders, she watched her brother, who was watching her, confusion and concern written on his face. He would be fine. He was always the strong one. “I’m not running off again. You’re acting just like Dad. Drop one thing and fly off to the next, whatever looks brightest and shiniest. I don’t want to do that anymore. I have something, someone I want to stay with. I’m staying here.”


For a long, quiet moment Colin didn’t respond. Kes saw the comment strike hard though, hard and deep. Her brother pulled her close, still said nothing, then finally, “I don’t mean to….if I am, I’m sorry. And I won’t push you anymore. But be careful, Birdie. That guy Jason…that’s one more hole in the ground under you, nothing stable or real.”

But I have stronger wings now, she thought quietly. “I love you, Colin,” Kestral whispered, and her brother returned it, equally quietly, adding only, “I’ll always be here, Bird.”

University - Stanfield and Mitchell Rental ~ Monday evening


She waited until almost dark, curling up in her bed most of the dark dreary afternoon, then walked past the park, down the length of the Loop to the very end, just before the road curved out of the campus and on toward distant South Beach. The house with its gray stone and glass rose up wet and gleaming in the mist. He must have been watching for her, because before she rang the bell, Jason Mitchell shoved open the door and strode out to meet her. “Hi,” he greeted her, smiling. “Come on in. Nobody else is here – let’s go up on the roof. I want to know how it went.”

Kestral watched him walk a few paces ahead of her through the dimly lit room. Music played somewhere overhead, muted by distance, stone and rain.

This, she mused, admiring him from behind, is a good place. She could spill almost anything in this place and mop it up…and then smiled at herself. He made the place look good, not the other way around.

The upper deck was half roofed, the stone flooring puddled with heavy rain. “All right,” Jason began, sheltering under the overhang, “did you sell the place?” Kestral hesitated and played with one of her silver chains. She had explained about the sale, but had not mentioned Colin’s plan to transfer both of them.

“Yes, Colin sold it. He made a little profit so he’s happy. Jason, there’s more to it than that though. He’s transferring to State, and he wanted me to go with him.” He looked at her, blank, then folded his arms, shifted his weight uneasily, and replied, “What are you talking about?”

“It’s a better fit for him academically, and it’s closer to the city. He’ll have more opportunities – “
“Good for him,” Jason cut in, quick and hard, “but you never said anything to me about leaving. Is that what you’re telling me?”

Kestral backed away from him and sat down on the couch, draping one arm across her knees. The cushions were wet. Rain blew through the lattice at her back, whipping the bamboo against her skin. “No, I’m not. I just didn’t know what to do until today. But I’m not going with him, Jason. I don’t know what I’m going to do – I don’t even have a place to stay – but I wouldn’t go.” He leaned towards her, expression still confused. “I can’t believe you didn’t say anything to me about it. I mean, I thought…”

She stood up and moved out into the rain, big drops splattering between them. Kestral had been there, had seen him work the stage on that last performance with Mercury Rising, but he certainly didn’t treat her like a rock star’s girl. However that worked. And however or whatever he thought, she cared enough about him to separate from her twin, something she never thought she would do. “Thought what?” Jason took her hand, and simply responded, “That you felt the same way about me that I feel about you.”

Her heart leaped, but she said nothing, unsure what she was supposed to say. “Kes,” Jason added softly, “don’t you know I’m in love with you?”

Kestral wrapped her arms around him, his skin warm against her rain soaked shirt. Jason slid down onto the stone, still holding onto her. Her fingers slipping through his wet hair, Kes knelt between his legs, looked down at him. The light shining, dancing between the raindrops. “I know it,” she whispered. “That’s why I’m here. I love you too.”

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NEXT CHAPTER: South Beach Chapter 47